Sunday, September 26
Friends ever again? ♥
Are we friends, are we not?
F1 was awesome & perfect last night (:
Thanks so much tiang for making my day & giving me the best nights of my whole life! :D
Supper at night was kind of bad.
That deadly place reminds me of that scene.
It came flashing back & didn't stop replaying in my mind.
When Xiao Zhuang went through that turn again, it was really terrifying.
I could see the pole in front of my eyes again, & my heart stopped beating.
That place feels scary to me now. I love speed.
But I learned to hate blind spots. & I can't stop myself from imagining another car coming from the opposite direction. Every same turn made my heart beat accelerate. When we came too close to anything at all, I start having pictures in my head.
I wish this could stop. & that nightmare, I never want to have it again, much less having it keep playing in my head over & over again.
***
Me & you, we used to be very close, we used to be that kind of girlfriends, where you'd always tell me your troubles, where I'll always be there for you when you're troubled.
But it seems its no longer the case.
Its as though something huge has gone wrong.
I keep thinking what is it that happened?
Why is it that when things aren't right, you do not turn to me anymore. Instead, you looked for someone else.
Why is it that when you felt like talking to someone about something, you do not look for me anymore.
I might have made a big mistake in the past, but I thought we were over it.
Well, maybe you & I aren't. Maybe you can never forgive me.
It hurts to see I'm not the one you look for anymore. It hurts to see that you no longer trust me.
I am that bad a friend, aren't I?
It just seems like whatever I try to do to help, it's all futile.
Excluding me from everything makes me feel as though you're sending me a message to get lost.
I just hope I can stop feeling so upset about this. ):
Friends, I guess we are not.
